..Letting go doesn't mean im giving up.

hye everyone...!!!~~~~
lame da i tak menulis yer... almost a month da.. and December almost wanna end.. and then my biggest fear...!!! oooouch...!! hard to get through this one.. how r..??
Dear God, please help me to get through this one first before my biggest fear on this April.. Bantulah hambamu ini dalam menjalani kehidupan sehariannya dan perkara yang memberi dugaan dan cabaran dalam hidupku... Ya Allah, permudahkan segala jalanku didunia dan diakhirat....Hanya kepadamu aku berserah.... amin~~~~

this month.. ape ygtelah berlaku eh...? ermm lemme think.... lalalalaalaa~``

ermmm nothing spesel kot.. ntahlaa... same as everyday xtvt.. yang pasti everyweek pasti ade jemputan kenduri.. aaaish... im glad for their happiness... as for me.. im happy as i am now.. im not yet ready for all those things.. but of coz sape yang tak terasa ngan benda2 tu... as my age everyone tgh belumba2 to get married... i dont know.. iim juz me.. im not ready to change my status yet.. im still me.. a gurl who believe in... a gurl who like fairytale... i believe that even my jodoh lambat asalkan i meet my Mr.Right... biarlaa berkahwin hanye sekali...

Mr. Right aka My tradisional man... ehhehee~~~~ ^_^
thats baru betol.. i love the man that learn from mistake..
i love the man who can get up strong after a fall...
i love the man who... dunt know wat else... ahahaha~~
hoping that i will meet him as what i wanted to.. of coz no one is perfect...
im not hoping for perfection. juzz nice pon ok ape.. hehee..
the one that can get my heart melt...
hahahaha~~~ mengarut da ni...
i know what i want... n i hope you all know what u want in this life...

I,me,myself, my family, Mr.Right...
i believe in Allah, my God.. The Al-Mighty....
i believe that there is still room for me...
i believe that i will get back what i lost...
i believe that everything happens for a reason..
i believe that my Mr,Right is somewhere out there...
only the matters of time je..
juz sit back, and pray... hehee...

i know that if u r not the one.. i believe that there is someone else better for me.. God had made us pairing.. i will let go of u... but doesnt mean im giving up..Giving up doesn’t always mean you are weak...sometimes it means that you are strong enough to let go.. yes.. im strong to let go of u.. ive done it before.. im letting go of u before this.. thats mean i can do it again.. i will do if u r not for me.. i will do it if u r not mine.. i will do it if u r not my destiny...juz to see u happy and bahagia means a lot to me.. it make me happy seeing u happy enough..

hoping that everything will be as planned and at their place..

love,
..enna.. (^_^)V

..Salam Maal Hijrah 1432..

assalamualaikum wbt...
Salam Maal Hijrah sy ucapkan to all.. may this new year bring joys and luck to us... Moga segala urusan dipermudahkan oleh-Nya..dan tahun baru ini adalah tahun untuk menjadi lebih baik... yes.. i need that.. azam baru 1432H ni...
-i wanna forget everything sour in my past life and keep remembering the sweet one je.. hehee~~
-im living the present now n will always keep it up to max...
-im fighting for my future...for my karier..for my life.. for my family.. for my self.. i will improving myself... n taat pada y satu... amin~~~
-tak kesah ape y org ckp o pikir.. the only thing is u know what u want in ur life..
-enjoy every moments i have.. dont spoil it with tears or wateva..

the things that i want to achieve this year 1432H and the becoming 2011....
-the most important thing is i wanna pass my exam n becoming a good doctor...
-i wanna go n see the place i wanted to such as
:go bukit cahaya eh..? shah alam for flying fox aka skytrex..
:bungee jumping kot kat sunway
:teringin nk sky diving.. hehee~~ y ni xtaula eh bile bole dpt...
:olidayzz with family n fren... anywhere anytime n anyplace... ahahha
-mau ambik lesen B full boz i like high power motor aka motor berkuasa tinggi.. ducati, kawasaki.. hahaha~~ ntahlaa dpt permission ke x...
-after all these n after i keje bru pikir what next thing in my life...

ermmmm.........
before masuk tahun baru ni..actually im almost giving up da.. but somehow it show up again at the time when i feel lonely n giving up...coming again in my life made me feel happy... bersemangat.. even though i know its not gonna last long enough for me to enjoy it... but i have to... it made me smile tonite... =D

n the most sad part is i got high grade fever when entering new year... aiiyoo.. down~~ T_T
now, almost 3 days da.. maybe it was my peringatan... huhuu~~ i accept these Ya Allah.. only U know the best tuk hambanya... ade hikmah disebalik semua y berlaku ni.. ape y da berlaku since last month mungkin ade hikmahnyaa... only U know it... im almost drowning... n now u pull me back to the surface... maybe.. hope this will last... thanks to all...

love,
..enna who has heart full of love..

*missing u* ^_^

28 November 2010____at my desk..

Juz couple of days more to December.. haaish..makin lame makin cepat mase berlalu.. this year felt so fast..pejam celik pejam celik da akhir tahun..December... da nak masuk new year balik da...N ketakutan n nervousness makin galak melanda.. fuh~~~

need courage and a strong & hard heart to overcome january n so on...
because next year will be the most important year in my life for now.. because too many events will be held.. ermm.. im afraid of what will happen in next year..
im striving..hoping..working hard for i want to achieve on 2011.. kita hanye bole usaha tapi semua ketentuan hanye Dia- The Al-Might y tentukan...
usaha n tawakkal adalah seiringan... tanpa usaha tawakkal adalah mgkin akan jadi sia2...bile lost kembalilah kita kepada-Nya...

actually da lame tak menuis ni.. rindoo da nk engarang cite.. hahaa~~~
im used to being used.. paham..? tak paham..? tak perlulah susah payah nk paham.. ahahha... n this entry might be the last entry for this month.. what happened this month..? im not sure enough.. what im remembered is i got my last long holiday and came back home.. wat an escapes.. nice view n nice being at home.. at home everything were perfect for me... so damn perfect.. but everything not as we planned.. few days later..im back at this horrible college..very horrible n stupid college.. i hate being here.. makin lame makin menyampah... huh..!!!

but what to do.. i have to be here...its a must for us.. need patience for the next few months je.. after that im outta here... yes..!! cant wait for that.. BUT... there is a big obstacle in front of me.. not obstacle actually..just cabaran that i need to pass first..which is my PRO exam aka my final exam... huhuu~~ takoot~~ 0_o
i need to pas this.. enough laa ngn ape y da belaku a few years back.. im stronger now maybe.. takde masalah mental lg da... hehee~~ if i want to list down for next year,there are too much of it.. so better i keep it for now.. haha...

the one thing that touch my heart for the past few months was...nowadays people in my batch o at my age are getting married and engaged...!! sgt ramai kot.. sampaikan i terasa sgt.. everytime i opened my page there are invitations to their ceremony o reception.. huhuu~~ im happy for them because their jodoh da sampai.. for me.. skrg ni sgt gatal nk mengedik kot.. ahahhaa~~~ sory laa.. thats me.. but im not ready for any commitment just wanna try out some new relationship..but..my heart was heartless for now.. cant even try to soften it.. because later i will feel angry.. and hatred.. i dunt what will happen to me.. dunt know what in front of me.. i trying soo much.. im working soo hard to get what i wanted.. but at the end...... its worthless when it comes to feeling n relationship... im trying so hard that i dunt even think bout mine...all i wanted is what i want in my life... i pray to God that someday i will meet with my prince charming the one that im adore and waiting for.. please God..bantulah hambamu ni dalam kehidupan sehariannya.. amin~~~
Ya Allah, bantula seluruh umat islam y dalam kesusahan....permudahkanlah segala urusan kami ya Allah.. amin~~~

love,
enna.. miss her love ones...

..past tense...

what should i say...?! what should i write here...?
hurrmm..... days passed by.. week by week.. days by days.. hours by hours.. minutes by minutes.. n seconds by seconds... nothing has change so far.. hurmm... all i need to do is wating. n waiting... penantian itu satu penyeksaan la... till when do i need to wait..? when...? errmm... all i can say is.. say nothing.. if not u will be the one who hurt the most... i terima keadaan ni... =(

i realized that this will happen... i know that this is going to end n i know how it end for me.. as usual.. u know it.. kinda like what u r expected laa...
one day u now him very well.. but one day u will lost him... like u never know him.. and then ur relationship will kabooom...!! dead end... this wat will happen.. i know.. all the guys are the same.. even they say they are not.. but thats the truth.. if ade guy yang tak macam tu.. sila la bawak jumpa saya.. i wanna know him.. n lets see wat will happens.. hahahaa.. if u wanna know.. lets roll down.................
ju
once upon a time...
i know a man.. a guy.. oh nops... 2 guys.. at the same time because of our same interest... what interest..? biarlaa rahsia....
they are so amazing in treating gurl.. immature girl i guess... hahaha... coz i know im not mature enough to be in this circle... hahahaa...
wat eva pon i am happy bcoz i knew them juz for a short while...

we started to get to know each other.. brief meeting.. n perkenalan y singkat.. time by time... we started to get together.. we played together... lepaking same2.. makan2 same2.. its juz right that time.. and it just a happy hour... but someone did not like it... n i had to bear with it.. because i think he juz felt insecure...
whoever know me very well can tell that im a loyal person... they juz ignore that fact.. what can i do if they cannot believe in me n its very sad if u urself cannot believe urself.. pity laa.... ok..back to the story.........

one point.. we travel together...to east cost.. thats all i can tell.. hahaa...
yeah.. it was a great memory.. great travelling... n great friendship though...
because that trip... the greatest memory carved in my tiny blackbox.. hehhee~~~
i will never forget these....

then.. in every relationship..there must be always lemon taste.. hahaa.. yeah.. thats it.. but we barely can through it.. n im stuck in the middle.... i juz keep silence.. coz i dunno how to solve.. hahhaa.. jahatnyee... tak tolong langsung.. tapi ape boley buat.. its the fact... sorry for everything....

actually...i am close to one of them... He.. how i wanted to describe him eh... hurmmm.... he's tall...not so thin.. hahaa... hakikatnye lelaki sume tinggi laa.. hahaha... fair skin..average weight.. n pretty good looking.. but he's not malay...
when ever im in doubt.. or when im in misery.. he will be my side. when im down.. even when im crying... im crying in front of him... embarrassing moments.. ahhahaa... but, he did not anything.. im pleased juz he was by my side.. he listened..he tried at least..im happy by him doing that je.. hehee~~ everything about him i know.. i even went to his house.. not to forget to both their's houses.. hahahaa.. 3 of us juz like belangkas da kot.. hahahah...
one nit.. he told me that he like me.. that time.. yep i hav the same feeling.. i liked him.. juz as a fren...yeke..? ahhaa... only God knew that... but we had decided that we will remain as frens... till the day we apart.. till now.. im not sure wat happened between us three...only God knows.... i cant tell more from this.. because i dunno... how it will ends.. as what i know.. we juz torn apart.. like now what ive been through... sorry...............!!
_____________________________________________________________________________________

P/S: my rojak english.. o is this english anyway.. hahahaha...sorry~~
..this is juz a story.. not involving the living and the dead.. I,he,them.. were not true. this is juz too good to bee true... peace no war...!!!

hav a good day u olls...

love...
enna "heartless"

*Midnite Blues*

31.10.2010 at 1.25am...
midnite blues dah datang....!!!
saya ngantuk tapi tak bleh tido agi sebabnya tengah tunggu download finish... lpas ni br saya tido.. sambil2 tunggu ni datang laa pulak blues tengah malam ni...

you're amazing juz the way u are...
when u smile..the whole world stop for a while...
you are amazing juz the way you are....

yes u are... you are amazing juz the way u are.. the way God created u...
i dont know why im falling for u... maybe its u.. juz u...
you amazing juz the way you are... im juz terpikat kot... dunt know why.. dunt know why the person has to be U... only He knows what He prepared for us...

you are soo silent nowadays... but im not blaming U... maybe its my fault... my fault juz.. im falling for U...
but i will get used to it.. i will get used to what ive been through before...without you...i dunt know what else i need to do...
i dunt know how to...
i dunt know how to keep track of u...
im juz being me... that gurl...
the gurl who is shy...
the gurl who is blur...
the gurl who is always doing everything without deeply think bout it...
im juz being that gurl....
im afraid that im expected will come true....
takot sangat ape yang saya expect akan jadi betol....
please....!! dont...

i cant hold the urge to disturb u...
i cant hold the urge to get to know u...
i cant hold it...
please forgive me.... im selfish here..juz because to make u mine... im sorry....
i know.. saya tau awak takkan selesa kalo camtu...
tapi saya tak leh tahan laa awak rase ni...
walaupon segala bagai da saya buat..
saya akan cube awak...saya tau awak tak suka....

ermmm..lelaki...guys...boy... wateva u can call them...
my statement before... NO MAN NO CRY... (tiada berkenaan dgn lagu n irama,ok..!!)
my opinion as a gurl... IF
takde lelaki kami (perempuan, gurl) tak nangis...
takde lelaki kami tak susah hati...
lelaki takde..kami tak perlu pikir banyak...

*my experienced...
lelaki mmg akan buatkn pompuan nangis....
lelaki akan buatkn pompuan susah ati...
selagi tak puas ati dorg tengok kita nangis... lelaki akan buat ape je tuk buatkn gurl nangis... tak kesah dgn ape cara sekalipon.. walaupon cara tersebut sgt melukakan... asalkan mereka puas ati...
saya sendiri.. da puas menangis da... N sekarang saya rase da kering kot air mutiara tu.. ataupon hati saya da keras... ntahlaa... kene ade lelaki yang betol2 tuk ketok hati saya balik ni.. tapi...im not sure who that guy... even now..ade laa a guy yang ketok hati saya... tapi saya tak tau samada saya yang syok sendiri o die memang meant what he said.. ntah laa... i cant tell.. only he, the one yang tau ape y die cakapkn... only he knew ape yang die maksudkan.... i dunt now...
awak...cakaplaa sesuatu... i need to know... so that..nanti saya akan tau nak buat ape lepas ni... walaupon sy tau ape yang awk nak... tapi sekarang situasi da jadi lain da awak.. situasi da berubah.... saya takot dgn ape yang akan jadi in future... i only hope for the best tuk awak...

once u said...banyak sangat laa awak cakap... tapi sume yang awak cakap... i still remember.. saya maseh ingat ape yang awak cakap... semua tu saya tak lupa... tapi takpelaa.... saya akan simpan these memories kemas2....!! saya takkan biarkn sesape masuk kaco memory ni... i will keep it for myself.... sorry for everything...!!

saya minta maap kalo saya demand... demand...?? ape yang saya demand ek..? hehee~~~
saya tak tau nak buat ape... saya tak tauuuu.....

im speechless da ni.. tak tau nk tulis ape da....
saya harapkan yang tebaik tuk awak...!!! i meant it everything i said.....

this week... this weekend... is my last weekend here in DAMAI,KL... because im moving to Serdang this Nov... ermm so this week saya akan enjoy...!!!
tapi kne kemaskn all my stuff... huhuu~~` penaaat.... xde sape nak tolong ke...? hehee~~~ i wish...!! kalo laa saya ni doraemon... da lame saya kecilkn barang2 saya ni sume.. senang sikit nak kemas n pindah... aaaish.... i wish...!!! ahahhaa~~~

oklaa... da ngantuk bangat ni.. need to sleep right now... tak sangka tiap2 malam macam mengharap je yang u will call me.. but... ade gak terpikir nak call awak and sembang2... tapi selalunyaa kalo saya call o msg ke wateva laa.. selalunyaa pasti tak kene mase and tempat... selalu nye macam tulaa... not the right time... taktau bile time yang sesuai tuk call awak... sbb tu sy senyap je... sbb tu saya senyap je tak tau nak contact camane.... huhuuu~~~ sorry....!!

oklaa.. nak akhir2 pon sambung lg... hahahaa~~~
ok... last piece from me....

i hope for the best...
i hope u know the right thing for u...
i hope there is future....
i hope there is 'us'...

luv,
enna... the gurl who missing U soo much....
"midnite blues"
2.22am


....THE PART OF ME IS MISSING U.....

..aii..cuti..cuti..pe nk jadi ni...? bole pula last minute postponed...!!

duuh.....!!!!
Ape ni bosh...?
ape management ni...? last2 minute baru bagitau yang nak postponed cuti... ape kes ni..? aaissh... da la da rancang siap2 nk buang masa kat umah cuti ni.. siap sume mmy sibings balik umah lg... br nak kumpul ramai2.. skrg ni d xdapat cuti.... aaaii...
bgus yelaa.. memang laa bagus sbb dapat cuti raya aji... tapi gak abeslaa perancangan ni... huhuuu~~~ sedey~~~

camane ni...? xdapat cuti depaa..tp dapat cuti raye aji..raye aji ape de... mmg laa raya kot... kat umah lg... tp tak sume yang balik kampung... huhu~~ pastu nnti sensorang je kat umah... aii..bosan ah nnti... huhuuu~~~ pe da...!!!
kalo ade y sudi luangkan mase bersama takpe gak.. hahahaa... berangan jelaa lebey... hahahaa....

tp pape pon dgr2 memang da official cuti ditunda tu... cutiraya aji semigu... aai... pe nk jd ni... huhu~~ raya pon raya laa... harap2 raya ni pon bawa erti jugak... ahahhaa~~~

ermmm ckp2 pasal cuti.. tepikir pulak lusa my member nk kawen... tp weeknd ni sibuk sikit laa.. huhuu~~~ dgn nk kne kemas barang nyee... dgn nk kuar nye.. dgn write up nyee... dgn nk g ziarah umah kwnnya... aai.. cmne2... huhuuu~~~
sabtu ni,kawan kawen,... aina... sampai gak jodoh die ye... cepat gitu..!! congratez...!! ermmm org lain cepat je... tp sy..? ermmm nk nampak cincin merisik pon jauh skali... hahahaa... yelaa calonn pon tadak...!!!
hahaha... yep.. coz i dunt have any... n now... not sure if im gonna be in her shoe.. but i will someday... when im done... when im meeting with my Mr.Right... yeah...!! hahahaa... bilee laa... bilee laa Mr.Right tu nk muncul n said it.. said that he will be with me... said that he will be mine forever coz i will be with u forever... hahahaa..... i wish....!!!

ermmm... for my Mr.Right... i dedicated to u this song....
...talkig to the moon... courtesy of Bruno Mars...

I know you're somewhere out there
Somewhere far away
I want you back
I want you back
My neighbors think
I'm crazy
But they don't understand
You're all I have
You're all I have

Chorus:

At night when the stars
light up my room
I sit by myself
Talking to the Moon
Try to get to You
In hopes you're on
the other side
Talking to me too
Or am I a fool
who sits alone
Talking to the moon

I'm feeling like I'm famous
The talk of the town
They say
I've gone mad
Yeah
I've gone mad
But they don't know
what I know

Cause when the
sund goes down
someone's talking back
Yeah

Chorus:

At night when the stars
light up my room
I sit by myself
Talking to the Moon
Try to get to You
In hopes you're on
the other side
Talking to me too
Or am I a fool
who sits alone
Talking to the moon

Do you ever hear me calling?
Cause every night
I'm talking to the moon
Still trying to get to you

I know you're somewhere out there
Somewhere far away....

i know u are aout there..dear...!!
somewhere far away.........
come to me...plez...!!

best regard...
from Ms.Right TO my little Mr.Right with love...

..insan yang bernama 'Lelaki'...

guys...lelaki... kenapa lelaki...??
kenapa lelaki itu...??

lelaki...
anda adalah lelaki yang sepatutnya menjadi ketua keluarga...
anda adalah tulang belakang keluarga..
tak kisah laa your own family or to your parents..
anda adalah kekuatan mereka...
kekuatan bagi setiap insan bernama perempuan...

lelaki...
anda yang sepatutnya melindungi kaum perempuan...
anda yang sepatutnya menjaga mereka...
anda yang sepatutnya menghormati mereka seperti anda menghormati ibu anda...

lelaki....
anda adalah suami kepada setiap isteri.....
anda adalah tulang belakang isteri anda....
anda adalah kekuatan si isteri..
tanpa anda...isteri hilang punca....

errmmm....... what should i say about guys... in reality...
well.. now..not many guys can be trusted... only a few i guess...
bcoz now..so many kinds of guys we can see... as u can see here in this world..in the tv.. radio.. macam2 berita bout lelaki.. mat rempit... n whatnot...

the guys that u can trust...??? so little... its hard to find...
once you find one u should never let go of him...
once you know guy you can trust... you should hold onto him...
never let go... because he is the one you trusted...
because in near future...he is the one who will be the guy you wanted as above...

in my life... there were a few guys in my life....
1-my sayaaang ayah...he is the great father in the world... i love him so muuch... father that i love more than myself...ayah..i will never forget of what u've done.. n sorry sesgt coz slalu bantah ckp ayah.. selalu je nk menang ugak ngn ayah... selalu kalo ayh ckp A..ena akn kate B.. sorry ayah.. tp u de best laa...!! XOXO...
2-my Bro..he also always be my side... thanks bro.. i dunt know how im gonna survive if u r not by my side...maseh sy igt..for the first time im here in KL... my bro in nilai.. wateva prob i faced here...he always help.. no matter what... the one incident that i will not forget is.. when u met with an accident... i felt like hell that time... im afraid that we r gonna lose u,bro... however, thanks to God for saving u...THANK YOU ALLAH...bersyukur sgt2.... luv u...
3-my little bro... he always cari pasal ngn sy... dr die kecik sampai sekarang kami asyk gado je.. but im still love him..he still my bro wat.. we share the same genes kn... hahaha...
4-U..awak...i'll never forget u till the end awk.. sbb awklaa y bt sy jd tak tentu smpai skrg...sbb awaklaa sy jd berani...sy tak penah lupa awkk..dr dulu mmg sy tak penah lupa awk...XOXO...sblm mane2 lelaki lain selain di atas hadir dlm hidup sy..awk telah hadir dlm hidup sy secara tak lgsg...awk y sy suka selame ni..awk y sy igt...sy suka awk...DULU..KINI..N SELAMENYA.....wpon akhirannya masih kabur..sy tak kesah awk...asalkn sy sempat kenal ngn awk...sy harap sgt pengakhiran ceritera kita indah...kita hanye merancang...tp Dia yang tentukan segalanya.. semoga ape y berlaku ade hikmah disebaliknya... sy sentiasa doa.... amin~~
5-dia aka D.. D hadir dlm hidup sy lepas sy sorg2..D...im sorry D.. dia hadir dlm hidup sy tanpa sy sedari...sy hargai kemunculan dia dlm hidup sy walaupon sekejap.. sy hargai dia seadanya walaupon sy.....takpelaa... sy hargai dia seadanya.. thanks tuk dia atas segalanya.. sbb dia sy kenal dunia cinta ni.. sbb dia sy kenal org bernama lelaki...pape pon thanks tuk dia...

inilaa lelaki2 yang memberi impak yang besar dlm hidup sy...
inilaa lelaki2 yang buat saya kenal dunia ni....
n awak sy harap awk akn jd lelaki terakhir dlm hidup sy...
sy harap awk lelaki itu...
sy harap awk laa Mr.Right sy....yang sy tunggu2 selame ni...
sy hanye berharap awk... usaha...
tp Tuhan yng tentukan....
semuanya ditangan Dia..Yang Maha Agung lagi Maha Mengetahui...
saya berdoa kpd Dia...sy percaya...

awak...dulu..kini..& selamenya...sy takkan penah lupakan awk...

akhir kate sy...
i miss u...
i heart u...
i will never forget u...
im into u...
sy gembira awk..
gembira dlm duka....

luv,
enna...XOXO....

..Blackberry Torch 9800 from Celcom...

A new Blackberry Torch is coming to town... It's Blackberry Torch 9800...
"It is the first smartphone with Blackberry keyboard and fully 3.2 inch touch screen"
What's goood about this smartphone...?!! Let me tell you all.....

It has the best Blackberry OS, an all in one design and a complete host of service. you will have dazzling experience even with routine task when using this smartphone..

still cannot believe it...
let me explain to you the feature of Blackberry Torch 9800...!!

1)Maximized multimedia
you can store many medias inside because it is with 8GB of memory, expandable up to 32GB with microSD card only.all these media are at your fingertips and with these Gig you can view full album art and tract listings in either portrait or landscape.

2)5 Megapixels camera
it comes with flash, continuous auto focus and image stabilization, just like a digital camera. it also comes with different photo modes up to 11 modes and don't forget about video recording. its irresistible.

3)Socialize where ever you go
you can update you account on Facebook, LinkedIn, Buzzd, twitter, flikcr.. you name it.. you can gather or filter all your social network and feeds in one view. it just on one click...!!

4)Multi-tasking
You can have faster and richer browsing with this smartphone. how you do it...??! You can manage multiple open websites with tabbed..!! You can bookmark all your favorites and you can even customize them from the home screen. its easy..!!

so... what are you waiting for...??! Grab this smartphone ASAP... its coming..hurry...!!!



but dont forget now... Celcom also has promotion coming with Balckberry Torch 9800.. Its Celcom Exec 50...!!

what are the best features of this plan...??!
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21.10.2010...was a fairytale...!!~~

today...21.10.2010... thursday... around 530+pm kot...
i met with my fren at pwtc bcoz nk ambik baju ngn die..jersy like tshirt...
n i got it a day after that bcoz im totally forgot laa... hahaa... n its pink... pinnnnk gileeer.. ahhaha... papepon thanks buddy...

n that day.. tanpa disengajakan because of my fren ni.. sy jumpa die... sy jumpa awk secara tak langsung... im sorry of my reaction that day... bcoz im lost..i dunt expect to see u in such a day.. n im not ready... but..thanks God n thanks to her..finally we met.. i only can say im sorry... ahahahaha....
after a long time, we met jugak.. tapi sy takot sbb im not confident enuf laa...
usualy after pape pasti sy akn rase.. im not fit..im not fit into ur wateva.. but let it be... im happy.. coz i can see u right infront of my face...in spite of wat happend..i dunt care.. i need to enjoy that moment..bcoz i dunt know bile lg we can meet after this.. ntah laa awk...
that day...
was a fairytale for me.. i dunt know bout u.. n im still waiting for u... ahaha.. wateva... sy tak berani awk.. sbb sy tau sape sy...sbb sy tau kita hanye kawan.. i know.. n im accepting that.. tp takpelaa awk.. sy cakap pon sy tak rugi ape2.. tp kalo sy tak cakap..sy y rugi akhirnya... i hope u understand...

awak...bile nk decide... sy nak tau ur decision ni... ntahlaa... i really wanna know.. tak kesah laa ape jua decision skali pon... awk nk ckp sy busybody pon cakaplaa... but.i really need to know...

semlm..sembg ngn kawan2... she said that of coz laa we cannot forget.. tapi kita kne buka hati kite ni tuk org lain jugak... sampai bile nk tunggu...
tp ntahlaa... sy sanggup tunggu awk... ahahhaa~~~~

sy da cube bukak hati ni..tp cannot.. bcoz my head was fully occupied by u...
hurrmmmm.... ntahlaa awk...

ermmm kalo kawn mmg ramai.. tp semunya hanye kawan je... colleagues...coursemate..childhood fren... schoolmate dulu2... tu semua kawn.. tp ade jugak y jelesh... jeles kaw2 punya tu.. aish... ntah laa..

that day....
for the first time we meet...
sy sgt takot... tgn n kaki sy sume ketar2... sejuk2 n flushing je rase..
sy sgt nervous n sgt mengigil awk time tu... sampai sy tak tau nk react cmne... smpaikn sy tak tau nk ckp ape... sy tak tau nk pikir ape... sorry... i shud not react like that kn awk... after a moment sampailaa kita duduk kat meja tu lame2.. barulaa im ok... barulaa sy rase sy bole bernafas... i can breath finally... hehee~~
thanks to uncle tu.. hahaha~~~~ he is good.. thanks uncle....

that day....
n after a while..she went away...n im like.. wat shud i do.. wat shud i do with u... sy xtau awk.. sy rase kekok sgt... sbb sy tak biase berdua ngn guy y sy tak biase jumpa... palpitation time tu sume ade laa.. hahahaa~~~
sampaikn bile awk tnye sy ckp balik laa.. sbbb da tak tau nk bt pe lg.. lgpon awk de kje. u bz that time.. its not a proper time.. but still.. im happy.. ahahaha~~ lainla kalo awk nk sy tunggu... haha... but i noe its not gonna happend... coz we just fren.. i knew that... still.. im into u... hahahhaa~~~

that day.........
im hoping there will be another day like that...
im hoping to see u again...
hahaha~~~ juz hope....
... i "like" u... =D

finally...
that day... was a fairytale...
im hoping for another fairytale....

luv,
enna....
budak y 'suka' awk dr dulu till now...

...im into u....

a few days passed by...
with joy n sadness.. the sadness is..i still dunt know the answer to my life. the answer that maybe can influence my other part of mine.. i hope i will hear from u soon.. the answer that will make me happy n touch... ahhaa~~~ im hoping... but its all depends on u... the joy was..i finished mt clinical exam already..the only one left is theory exam this friday.. even today pon i tak pegi wad...haha.. takpelaa i nak finishkn forensik ni tp.....no case.. sampaikn staff kat forensik dept tu cakap p bunuh org laa kalo nk case.. ahhaa... kesian die pasti da boosan sbb ramai y call tanye pasal case kn encik.. takpelaa tu mm da keje encik nak bt cmne... hehee....

ermm.. few days passed by...
i hope i know what r u thinking...
i hope i know what r u doing...*some of it yes.. hehee...not detail laa.. kalo nk detail mampus laa nk cite.. ahhaa...
i hope i'll get to know u better...
i hope there is light for us..
i hope u wont disappointed me...
i dunt now what am i hoping for...
wat if....
what if...
what if... u r not mine...
what if... u r not belong to me..
there are soo many possibility...
the truth is..i have to get ready for all possibility that might happen...
i have too get ready for all consequences of wat i said n wat ive done...

i always doing something without thinking...
i always doing something because my intuition told me too..
i will do wat wanna do..o wat i think is right...
im sorry...
as for ur problem... i dunt know...
im really afraid that i will losing u for the second time..
cukuplaa sekali...kalo kali kedua pon sy kehilangan awak.. i'll give up laa...
for the 1st time...its ok becoz we are too young..young for all these.. hahaa... maybe.. but now..
before this...knowing u all alone..single..made me happy.. n thought that i have chance...
chance to make u mine...
but now...... it seems blurred...
now.. the chance is too little...
im afraid i dunt get that chance...
i'll try to fight for u.. try to get to u...
i dunt know if its enuf for u to see that im into u...
i dunt know if its enuf for u to see that im not giving up on u...
just tell me wat shud i doo..
tell me wat shud i say..
tell me how shud i react...
tell me wat u want me to do...
im just me.. a human being... im not perfect... sometimes people make mistakes dear.. so do i..

im a girl though...
a gurl like me..who know the meaning of shy...
a gurl that wont give up on u...
a girl that will be loyal to you...
a girl that wont break ur heart...
a girl that always appreciate what she got n wat she has...
a girl who know how much love she has for u...
a girl who know what she want the most..
a girl that will be always be by ur side *as well as my family members*

i dont want to lose u for the second time.. enuf for the very first time..
but..
if its true that im losing u again..
i will be by ur side...
i'll pray for u...

ntahlaa awk.. sy xtau nk ckp pe..xtau nk ckp pe selg sy xtau ape y awk rase n will decide... sy pasrah je kalo awk bukan tuk sy...

sy btol2 xtau ape y awk rase...
ape y awk pikir...
ape y awk pikir ttg sy...
awk penah bgtau sy y u like ur single status now... thats y i'll try be friend with u n xnk serabutkn awk ngn kerenah sy... awk kn ckp sy ni "bolok laa".. hahahaa...
mmg pon.. kdg2 sy clumsy... kadg sy xtau pon sy buat ape..sy maen buat je n ckp je ape y sy nk ckp o buat tanpa pikir dulu..then akirnya mgkn sy bole mnyesal.. huhuu~~
sbb sy tau awk still nk maintain single n dptkn ape y awk nk... sbb tu sy xkaco awk.. im giving u space there for ur self...
tp kn awk...bile sy tau hal ni...sy xleh pkir byk.. y sy tau sy xnk sy terlepas awk lg..sy xnk kehilangan awk lg...
..I WANNA MAKE U MINE,DEAR...

sy mcm da xkesah da awk kalo awk nk pikir sy ni camane...
y sy tau sy tak nk kehilangan awk lg..
sy xnak... uhuhuu~~~

tp pertemuan,jodoh, ajal semuanya di tangan tuhan...
Dia y tentukn semuanaya... kita hanye berusaha... sy hanye berusaha awk...
semuanya ketentuan Dia...
sy hnya perlu percaya..believe n doa...
semoga akhirnya membawa hikmah..... amin~~~

...awak..sy akn kuatkn diri sy tuk awk...

there was something happened...!!
its october now..then, november..december... n no more 2010.. 2011 will come.. i dunt want another year full of surprise... but..wat to do. only He know what will happen.. the Al-Mighty...
last raya was amazing to me bcoz i got all i wanted except dat laa.. then..i continued my life as it is.. macam biasa.. pegi class..pegi wad.clerking all that things that im supposed to do..nothing much happen that gave a crack on my day until that one fine evening..... i got a news.. dunt know to classified it as a bad o a good news... hurmm...

sebabnya i dunt know... i really2 dunt know..
at first.. i doubt it..n i think it juz a fake news..n i told my self ..it was just a bad dream...o just kidding news... hahaha... wat i need to say... im juz speechless... dont know wat to say to u..really speechless.. bak kate org.. diluah mati mak ditelan mati bapak... sampaikan bole diibaratkn cam itu... sbb this news sgt2 terkesan kot... hahaha..

pada suatu hari y hening lg bosan.. after class..cam biasalaa balik bilik je online kalo rajin.. tapi most of time camtulaa... aissh..tp aritu xde p tgok ammar pulak.. sbb crite "ammar" tu xde kat tv..so juz sit dlm bilik je.. n online...
bosan punya bosan..tanpa fikir panjang... tergerak hati laa nk tegur seseorg ni... i got a feedback btw... n hav a short cit chat...
suddenly... die bgtau..y die akn bertunang... wat de heck is going on.... at first... im shocked ok...!! real shock punya.. tp xde laa sampai nk pengsan pulakk...coz die adalah seseorg bgku.. wpon aku xtau ape sebenarnya y ku rase.. y pasti im comfortable ngn die..i think i can be myself kot.. i dont need to pretend... im speechless.. dont know what to say.. but then.. sy control perasaan ni n buat2 cam xde perasan.. but actually..it snap my heart badly... after a while i try i believe that it was juz a fake.. a lie... but.. a whole nite n the next day also i cant stop myself from thinking bout it... t gave me a great effect...i cant sleep.. i even cant pay attention.... but my daily life as usual laa.. hehee~~ only a part of me are really affected by that..
then... i got t know that die saje mainkan sy..for awhile im relieved if its a lie then.. but reaksinyaa tak seperti tipu... i dont believe it.. after korek punya korek.. i think die mmg bgtau perkara y betol.. i cant tell if its true or lie.. n its a true story... im doomed...!! abeslaa... wat shud i doo... wat shud i say.. how shud i react then... still.. i dont know wat to do.. die cakap ntilaa... its 50-50...
my opinion on this...
-kalo sy ikutkan ati n nafsu.. sy akan cakap... "awk..jgn tunang..plizz..ikut kate hati awk..parents awk mgkin akn paham...awk..jangaaan.. maseh terlalu awal utk awk ke fasa itu..coz i know u.. i know how u behave.. i know wat u want"
-kalo ikutkn akal y bernas and as a fren who y xde pape perassan.. "kalo awk sukakn die n kate ati awk.. awk terimalaa... ikutlaa parents awk.." awk kne kuat....

-tp kan awk... ati sy kuat katekn jgn terima.. jangan awk.. jangan. sy tak tau nape.. tp sy harap sgt awk tak terima.... moga2 kate2 ati sy awk dpt dgr... hehee~~

awk...
sy xleh nk bt pape awk..
sy xleh nk halang awk dr terima..
sy xleh nk marah awk kalo awk terima...
sbb sy bukan sape2 kat awk..
sbb sapelaa sy ni kat awk..
sape sy tuk bt keputusan tuk awk..
sy hanye bole doakn tuk awk...

awaak....
sy hanye bole doakn tuk awk moga awk bahagia..
moga awk bt keputusan y betol...
moga awk gembira dgn ape jua y awk lalui...
bile awk gembira n bahagia..
sy pon akn turut bahagia....

awaak....
sy akn terima je pe y awk bt o decide..
sy xpenah lupa awk...
sbb awk tergolong dlm org y sy kasihi..
sy mmg xkn penah lupa awk...
sbb awk happykn sy secara xlgsg...

awaak...
sy nak awk tau y awk bole ckp ape je ngn sy...
awk bole ckp pasal pape je ngn sy...
sbb sy akn jd telinga awk...
sbb sy akn jd pendengar y setia tuk awk...
sy akn berkongsi duka awk...
sy nak awk tau y im right here to share..
if u r willing to share..
im willing to hear...
mgkin sy leh bantu awk...
tp sy boleh bantu dengar masalah awk...

awaak...
sy harap sgt awk tolak.. im sorry for being selfish to myself...
tp kalo awk terima. takpe laa..
mgkin awk bkn tuk sy...
sy akn terima...pe jua keadaanyaa...
sy takkan penah lupakan awk...
kalaupon nnti awk bkn tuk sy..
sy harap kita maseh kawan...!!

awk...
sy doakn y terbaek tuk awk...
sy doakan awk kuat...
segala y berlaku de hikmahnyaaa....
percayala awk ats Qada Qadar-Nya....
sy percaya awk dpt laluinyaa..
amin....

awak...
semoga awk dapat dengar n selami kata ati sy...
wpon sy tau awk tak mungkin bace ni..
wpon sy tau awk tak mungkin tau pasal ni...
wpon sy tau sy bertepuk satu tgn je...
wpon sy tay sy syok sendiri je...
tp takpe awk..
sy da heppy camni...
sy happy dapat kenal awk...

akhir kate sy tuk awk...

awk...
sy "suka" awk...

*sy tak tau makne sebenar cinta..kasih.. n sayang....
tp mgkin itu y sy rasekn ni...

luv..
enna y comot.. <3

..september ended already...

...september da end da... cepatnyee sebulan... raya pon abes lg.. ahahaa.. but for me,its done kot..still maseh de y bt open house.. hehehe~~
by the way.. this raya was a very meaningful raya... i love this raya.. hope the next n next raya pon cam ni jgak... but still there is one thing i could not achieve that raya.. n hope i will get it soon.. wat ever.. sooner o later dalink... hahaha~~

bukan raya je y bermakna... senang kate.. this is a good year for me.. n i hope next year will be better and properous... coz next year..de exam.. huhuuu.. hope i will pass it.. this year... i dunt know wat to say.. coz to many things happened.. i like n i love of wat happened to me..i hope these will last forever.. hope that my dream will come true bebeh....!!!

i juz need u to say that im fine even thow its not fine enuf for u to say... hahaha...
i will try one more.. if it failed..then i guess i need to stop.. ahhaha... stop for now..just follow the flow n get wat u want... u know what u want.. dont spoiled it... dont regret after all of wat had happened.. but u cannot paksa laa...

juz like wat i hold on...
"hold on if u can n if it yours... but, if its not yours juz let go.. if it come backs then it will be yours..." u juz need to believe n pray.. ehehe~~~

btw... thanks for those who being by my side...
thanks for the great september and great year...!!!
thanks for all who contributing.. ahhaaha...

sayooonara guys....!!!~~~
luv ya~~~

september 2010... aka raya 2010..

raya 2010... wat a amazing n the best raya ive had.. bcoz i met with bunch of people that i wish to meet.. hahahaha... for instance....

1st raya: raya with family n sedara mara...

2nd raya: raya with my fellow childhood members... hahaha.. cah karim,cah ripin, kima, syukri..dean..n kamarul azizan... n cikgu2 y best... cg zukri, our great BM teacher.. cg roslan..our great muzik teacher who teach me how to dance n appreciate muzik.. hehehe...

3rd raya: raya with my ex-schoolmates... at yatie n zahied wedding.. after that..we visited mama lina tengok anaknye y berusia almost 2weeks.. hehee.. so cute...

4th raya: kat umah je coz member dtg raya..then p braya.. hehee...

5th raya: g kemaman... sa's engagement day... ehehe.. congratez lalink...

6th raya: kat umah jugak... rehat2 n abeskn cuti y berbaki neh... huhuu... tak lama da nk kne p KL.. huhu.. rase cm sekejap je cuti...

BUT... cuti ni sgt besh.. wpon xpegi tempat y besh...tp dpt jumpa kwn2 lame y mmg da lame xjumpa... sonooooknyee.... almost 12 years kot.. ahahhaa... besh2....
raya y sgt besh... the best raya i ve ever had...

but still something missing somewhere.... im not sure what it is... huhuu. have to explore first..then i will know... ahahahahha...(yeke.. bkn da tau ke ape die..) aahahaha... guess so...

i really wish that this raya will be the best in my life... n this raya will be my last raya as a student... huhuu.... 2010 mencatat sejarah... sejarah y tak mungkin dilupakan....hehehee... luv u alls... luv my famili soo much... *_*

happy raya to ols.... raya tak mungkin habes dlm sebln ni.. ehehhe...

13 signs you're falling in love...

13.you cant stay mad at him/her for more than a minute or two.. you actually try hard to stay mad...
12. you'll read her/his sms/mms over & over again
11. you'll walk really really slow while you were with him/her
10. you'll feel shy whenever you're with him/her
9. while thinking about him/her your heart will beat faster and faster
8. by listening to his/her voice.. you'll smile for no reason
7. while looking at him/her.. you can't see the other people around you... you can only see THAT person
6. you'll start listening to slow songs
5. he/ she become all you think about
4. you'll get high just by their smell
3. you'll realize that you're always smiling to yourself when you think of them
2. you'll do anything for him/her
1. while reading this, there was ONE PERSON on your mind the whole time...


but after reading this, i did not think of anyone.. strange for me.. hahahaa.. bur really i cant think of anyone.. yeah...!! thats mean im not in lovee... ahhahaa...

LOVE....just a subjective word which has many meaning..subjective meaning... only tuan punya badan know what love means to them...
for me.. LOVE is give and take... believe each other n 'sayang' each other... the most important in relationship are believe, love, understanding, hormat menghormati sesame sendiri and tolak ansur.. barulaa aman hubungan... hehee... ini laa hubungan y stabil.. hehhee... mudahkah nk jumpa pasangan kita y betol2 paham ape y kita nak.. n ape y kita dambakan dlm perhubungan... hehee... Mr.Right....??!! yeah... where is Mr.Right...? ntah laa... sy pon tak tau... hanye Tuhan y tau sape Mr.Right kita... nak jumpa Mr.Right kn laa cri.. jgn duk tunggu je... ahahaha... ape laa aku mngarut ni... tp betolla.. bile kawan2 seangkatan da byk y nk kawen.. da kawen n ade anak... kesedaran mngenai umoo y makin meningkat makin tinggi.. kalo blk umah pulak ade je mulut2 y nk tanye.. bile lg giliran anda...? ahhahaa... for me i think lmbat lg for marriage... ahhaa... bcoz there are many things need to be done in my life.. many things that i need to achieve first... BUT.. if there is my Mr.Right tu da sampai..mknenya da sampai mase for me to get married... i terima je... insyaAllah...
sbb berkawen ni bkn perkara maen2 yang ooii... its a matter of life... n it will change ur life totally after u get married... bcoz after marriage.. u have a husband that u need to take care of... kne uruskan tuk dua org pulak tu.. kalo sebelum ni bujang bolehlaa.. diri sendiri senang je nk jaga sbb tepuk dada tnye selera sndiri... ahahha... lpas da lme sket kawen... ade laa anak pulak.. lg ramai nk kne jage n lg bertambah laa taggungjawab... sbb responsibility towards husband n anak laa pulak... ni belom tambah responsibility kat mak ayah lagi....
tp y penting for now... im not feeling old enuf to get married at this age..even 2 years from now.. ahhahaa.. bcoz im just a kid n still a kid.. im not mature ennuf to take care of a husband right now... ahhahaa.... bukan nk kate husbnad je... kalo becinta skali pon... nk kne bg tumpua jugak... ahhaahaha....

so..akhir kata... im not ready to get married or to get into a serious relationship for now...i need to fulfill my desire and my goal first... br bole pkir bnda lain... ahahhahaa... ok...
for sesape y nak kawen o da kawen tu..especially my fren... yati,dayah..balkis..herdy..atikah..cik nik...sape2 laa... im happy for u ols..
sy doakan hubungan berkekalan hingga sapa bile2..happy sokmo... amiiiiin~~~~~

...i'm like a bird...

holaa all... how r u today n this month... hehee..
im good... really good.. plus all the new spirit now...
i never better than now.. really feel that my new life is amazing kot...
because im free... juz like a bird... terbang bebas di awanan y biru n tak berpenghujung... till infinity.... yep.. i love infinity... hehee...
because infinity is something that u cannot measure..judge n u never know what will come n happend at then end of the day... but expect the unexpected laa... hahaha...

1 week... in my new year..new age..new spirit n even new posting... i will be in dermatology posting starting on tomorrow... but juz only for 2 weeks then i be back to medicine.. senior medicine ok... uhuu.. for 8 weeks I'll be in medicine.. huhu... hav to.. new spirit. yeah..because i hav a new spirit laa... ahhaha... =P xde aa... sbbnye da masuk umoo baru ni da makin tua laa jdinya... so kne laa ade azam baru n new goal.. yep i do...
another thing is.. semuanya y blur da di clearkn... semua y terbuku da terucap... semua kecelaruan da die perbetolkn.. sorry if ape y sy buat ni tak penuhkan harapan sesetengah pihak... tapi ni adalah pasal my life... idup sy.. takkan sy nak org lain buat decision in my life.. becoz im living my life as good as i can.. tak nak dipengaruhi org len...tak nak dibelenggu lg... cukuplaa ape y da blaku... my life is very important to me... tak nak bg sesape pon campur tangn.. n i dont want any obstacle o pengahalng... my life is my life... so dont messed it up with ur life... =D

seperkara lg ya sekarang ni tgh hangat adalah............ BULAN POSEEE laa...
hahahah.... sbb beberapa harri lg da nak berpose laa.... excited nyee nk pose n nak rayee... ahaha... Slamat pose semua... n.. i buat new challenge.. im challenge my self in this month.. wat challenge...?? cukuplaa my fren n i je tau... bcoz dorang saksi... ahhahaa... gile ah.. bole ke aku buat benda tu... takotlak tak terbuat... takpee im take is as a challenge.. to challenge myself... hehhee...
i wll.. becoz.. i have to... uhuuu~~~ papepon all the best to myself... hahaha... nk bt cmne xde org nak ucapkn... ahahhaa...

final say....
SLAMAT BERPUASA KPD Semua umat islam y berpuasa...
n thanks to all y support me...
mmuaax...!!

...my 23rd year of life...

1236am... in damai..4th floor.... at my table...
2 august 2010... is my 23rd year of life... thats mean im 23 years old now... huhuu~~ n maknenya da 23 tahun i hidup di bumi ALLAH ini.. thank you ALLAH.... coz let me live till now... aku bersyukur padamu kerana dapat ku melihat matahari cerah esok pg... insyaAllah...

n today i gain my spirit back...
- i will not ever again give up.. n i will strive for my future... bcoz everyone is depending on me...
- i will not mess up my life wif guys again... guys are sucks...!! sorry to say... hehe~~
- i will live my life as happy as possible... bcoz i love to be happy.. tak semak sgt... hehee~~

i gak receive byk wish.. tak kesah laa dorg igt ke x... hehee... but i still get many wishes... thanks frens... =D
n today gak aku nk jalankn satu misi perbersihan... n pengclarifyan kpd seseorg... hehee~~ juz wait n see... n i will do it.. sbb da lame nk ckp n bgau die sejak 10 thn kot.. tak kesah laa.. y pasti this is the only way y i bole bgtau die... then after i tell all the truth n wat i need to say... thats it.. itulaa pengakgirannya kpd ceritera aku n dia...!!! hope so... wpon harap laen... aahhaa... tak bole mgharapkn balasan xelok... hehhee~~~
tujuannya : aku perlu lepaskn ape y aku rase selame ni... tak kesah laa die nk ckp pe pon..
tp pasti lepas ni aku xkn kaco die lg... n i'll be invisible again n dissapear in his life....!!! then i will be free from all the feelings... hope so.... =D

my so-called azam....!!!
1. belajar n pass the final pro...!! dont sangkut2 lg.... this is the most important in my life now...!!!

dear all.. pray for me ya... n i'll pray for u all too... thanks in advance...!!
gambateh dear...!!!! keep ur secret within u....!!!! (0_o)

..i hate this feeling...

yeah... i hate this feeling... y now...? is that bcoz of my hormones are not stable now... is it..? n i dont think so.. aku penah rase mcm ni.. 6 o 7 years back... before i be with..... just let it be... hati seorg perempuan kn lemah senang dipujuk... hahhaa... tp aku...?? ntah.. hati batu ke aku ni...? keras sgt ke sampai aku da tak rase pape lg... mgkin sbb da lame aku diperkotak katikkan... boel aku ckp cmni.. mgkin kot... sbb dulu aku senang sgt ikot kate org mcm aku ni xde pendirian.. sampaikn mcm aku ni tak dihargai... org len bole pijak kpale... tp tu dulu.. bkn skrg.. aku da bkn aku skrg. aku pon rase aku ni laen, da brubah... aku rase aku ni hati batu kot n aku tak hiraukn sesape.. aku tak nak kne pijak lg.. cukup laa ape y da blaku dulu.. ape y blaku dulu da bg aku pengajarn jgn senang2 nak percaya o harapkn sesape... aku bole sara n jaga diri aku sndiri... aku tak perlu org laen ambik berat kat aku... tp kan sampai one time tu i feel that i need someone that i can rant..talk.. n share everything... someone that very patient with me.. org y bole handle aku sepatutnyaa... hati perempuan mne y tak terase sunyii...kallo da sorg2.. but then im still can handle it.. still can hold to what i believe n wat i want... thats y laa jdinyaa im here now.. im here coz i wanted to rant n luahkn wat i feel... this is the only way.. the only thing wat i do when ill be like this... this webpage laa jd mangsanyaa... hahaa... tak kesah asalkn aku puas...

tapi ade masenya aku nak nagis... tak same bilemane kita bcakap ngn seseorg dan bile kte cakap ngn kertas o tulis bnda alah ni.. thats alot of difference in it... u can imagine when u r like me.. ahhaa...luahkn ake je y korg rase ats kertas,kanvas o juz in a blog like i did... ahaha... mcm pelik pon ade... bile kte juz tulis cm ni rasenye jux one way to juz luahkn ape y korg rase.. but when u r talking to someone that can lend their ears to hear wat u wanted to say... its difference coz that person can give u a piece of advise y berguna... n make u feel better... even tho bile tulis pon u will feel better than before... its hard when it come to a feeling..complicated feeling.. haahhaa....
i wish i had someone who understand me better than i do.... <3

i had o have someone.. but then i dissapointed him.. coz after that i did not hear any news form him anymore... juz silent between us... i dont know coz he the one is the cause all this happend... he started it.. n then dont blame me when im doing this.. bcoz im not used to wat uve done to me.. coz it juz dont fit logically.. aven a kindergarden girl know that its not logic.. ok... itulaa lelaki.. xpe la asalkn die happy.. but i really wanted to talk to him again.. maybe someday... let fate decide this... hehee.. thank u ALLAH.... =D

talk about guys... i know this one guy... a guy that ive known for years...i wish.. hahaha.... he juz dissappear.. hahaha... after i provoked him one day... ahhhaa... juz not nice n thats me i guess..like dulu2.. ahhahaa... i swear i wont do that again... ahhaha... its humiliating.. ahhaha.. gile btol n tak pakai otak kn da xdpt pape.. hahahhaa... keje buduss laa aritu... n i regret wat ive done laa... wat a stupid move after all.... LOL (#_$)

when i comes about guys... so many things that i can say... ahaha... nmpak sgt aku ni stalker ke...?? ahhaha... nope juz im a good observer... hehehee~~~~
observer o ushar...??? huahuahuahuaa.... LOL....

biarlaa... let bygones be bygones... da lpas biarkn lepas... n que sera sera... hehehe....
n i will live with a new spirit in me... bcoz whole new life waiting for me... a new chapter... n im looking towards it... insyaALLAH.... =D

...now im at home sweet home.. kampungku tanah airku.. hehe.. mne lg teganu laa... n today was my last day of elective posting... n thats mean it was my last academic day of my very own 4th year... n im gonna go thru 5th year tak lame lg... huhu. .. it will be heart beating year i guess....

my elective posting.. i done it at HSNZ, kuala terengganu... n im staying at home.. senang tak perlu pkr psal rumah..makan...hehee~~~ n sambil2 tu bleh jln2 gak... ngn family lg... hehehehee... buat elective for 3weeks... n now its end olredy... n one day in the ward.. i met wif someone... but i dunt know him.. n i dont hav a chance to talk to him.. coz he was a patient there n he looked very sick.. nak buat cerita nye n ianya sangat2 laa kebetulan y berlaku... his name...his job... his age... same ngan member sy tu.... mmg sangat2 kebetulan la.. tp xsempat nk clarify... hehehee... sbb die da kne discharge pg td... huhuu~~ tp xpe laa.. da xde rezeki laa tu.. heheee.... 3 miggu elective... ermm rase cam kejap je.. hehehee... n dapat jumpa ramai org laa... seniorzz n kawaan2... n lpas elective ni ape lg... bergalop laa... ahahhaa... n duk umah... jln2... hhehee~~~

n now cuti... lg 3weeks ++ dah nak kne masuk se da... n kne balik KL blk.. hhuhuu~~ nak bt ape lg kat sane... huhuu~~~ tp xpe itulaa life ku... n i must admit i love my life now.... n i love my self... ahhahahahha~~~~~