yeah... i hate this feeling... y now...? is that bcoz of my hormones are not stable now... is it..? n i dont think so.. aku penah rase mcm ni.. 6 o 7 years back... before i be with..... just let it be... hati seorg perempuan kn lemah senang dipujuk... hahhaa... tp aku...?? ntah.. hati batu ke aku ni...? keras sgt ke sampai aku da tak rase pape lg... mgkin sbb da lame aku diperkotak katikkan... boel aku ckp cmni.. mgkin kot... sbb dulu aku senang sgt ikot kate org mcm aku ni xde pendirian.. sampaikn mcm aku ni tak dihargai... org len bole pijak kpale... tp tu dulu.. bkn skrg.. aku da bkn aku skrg. aku pon rase aku ni laen, da brubah... aku rase aku ni hati batu kot n aku tak hiraukn sesape.. aku tak nak kne pijak lg.. cukup laa ape y da blaku dulu.. ape y blaku dulu da bg aku pengajarn jgn senang2 nak percaya o harapkn sesape... aku bole sara n jaga diri aku sndiri... aku tak perlu org laen ambik berat kat aku... tp kan sampai one time tu i feel that i need someone that i can rant..talk.. n share everything... someone that very patient with me.. org y bole handle aku sepatutnyaa... hati perempuan mne y tak terase sunyii...kallo da sorg2.. but then im still can handle it.. still can hold to what i believe n wat i want... thats y laa jdinyaa im here now.. im here coz i wanted to rant n luahkn wat i feel... this is the only way.. the only thing wat i do when ill be like this... this webpage laa jd mangsanyaa... hahaa... tak kesah asalkn aku puas...
tapi ade masenya aku nak nagis... tak same bilemane kita bcakap ngn seseorg dan bile kte cakap ngn kertas o tulis bnda alah ni.. thats alot of difference in it... u can imagine when u r like me.. ahhaa...luahkn ake je y korg rase ats kertas,kanvas o juz in a blog like i did... ahaha... mcm pelik pon ade... bile kte juz tulis cm ni rasenye jux one way to juz luahkn ape y korg rase.. but when u r talking to someone that can lend their ears to hear wat u wanted to say... its difference coz that person can give u a piece of advise y berguna... n make u feel better... even tho bile tulis pon u will feel better than before... its hard when it come to a feeling..complicated feeling.. haahhaa....
i wish i had someone who understand me better than i do.... <3
i had o have someone.. but then i dissapointed him.. coz after that i did not hear any news form him anymore... juz silent between us... i dont know coz he the one is the cause all this happend... he started it.. n then dont blame me when im doing this.. bcoz im not used to wat uve done to me.. coz it juz dont fit logically.. aven a kindergarden girl know that its not logic.. ok... itulaa lelaki.. xpe la asalkn die happy.. but i really wanted to talk to him again.. maybe someday... let fate decide this... hehee.. thank u ALLAH.... =D
talk about guys... i know this one guy... a guy that ive known for years...i wish.. hahaha.... he juz dissappear.. hahaha... after i provoked him one day... ahhhaa... juz not nice n thats me i guess..like dulu2.. ahhahaa... i swear i wont do that again... ahhaha... its humiliating.. ahhaha.. gile btol n tak pakai otak kn da xdpt pape.. hahahhaa... keje buduss laa aritu... n i regret wat ive done laa... wat a stupid move after all.... LOL (#_$)
when i comes about guys... so many things that i can say... ahaha... nmpak sgt aku ni stalker ke...?? ahhaha... nope juz im a good observer... hehehee~~~~
observer o ushar...??? huahuahuahuaa.... LOL....
biarlaa... let bygones be bygones... da lpas biarkn lepas... n que sera sera... hehehe....
n i will live with a new spirit in me... bcoz whole new life waiting for me... a new chapter... n im looking towards it... insyaALLAH.... =D
